Innocent Bliss

My friend Jenni comes back from lunch to see her dash exploded with the legendary SoF Shipping War of Feb 2012. She IMs Em about it.
Jenni: I'm not sure whether to find ya'll on tumblr disturbing or hilarious (about shipping your cousin's charrs)
Jenni: but it's just...yeah. I don't get the way shippers think so I don't get how you all predict them
Em: 1. Do they know each other (optional) 2. do they make eye contact (whoa baby!) 3. Are they friends? (bow chicka wow wow) 4. Best friends? (married!)
Jenni: ....But that's not even logical!
Em: It's shipping.
Em: Since when has non-canon shipping EVER been logical?